The Green Man Boutique Hotel

Right. Let’s be honest.

This was £36 a night.

And for £36 just outside of London, you’re either getting a miracle… or a lesson in managing expectations.

For us, it was the second one.

The place felt cold - and not in the cool boutique sense. Just cold. The room wasn’t somewhere you wanted to hang out. It felt tired, a bit grim, and not particularly welcoming. You know when you sort of hover and avoid touching too much? That vibe.

Cleanliness-wise… let’s just say it didn’t exactly scream five-star standards. If you’re used to even a half-decent Premier Inn, this will feel like a step down.

But here’s the thing.

It was £36.

Near London.

That’s less than some people spend on dinner. So part of me thinks you can’t be outraged. You get what you pay for. It did the job in the most basic sense - somewhere to sleep - but I wouldn’t book it expecting cosy, warm, or charming.

If you’re desperate for somewhere cheap near Stansted and you just need a bed for a few hours, fine. If you want comfort, takeaways in bed, and a relaxing stay… this probably isn’t your one.

Sometimes cheap is cheap for a reason.